Aghast Pt. 3

Leticia listened to distorted versions of her radio hits on a loop that seemed to have gone on for an eternity. She felt herself breaking. With tears running down the inside and outside of her cheeks she whispered “I’ll be true to me”

The voice goaded her “Say it again, baby”

“I’ll be true to me”

“Louder!”

“I’ll be true to ME!”

She filled her lungs with what she felt was the love of the universe and blasted out “I’LL BE TRUE TO ME!”

Suddenly, everything went white and familiar voices surrounded her. She could make out Dawson’s raspy voice “What’s she saying… Hold up! She’s coming to!”

Leticia was still mouthing “I´ll be true to me…” when she realized, despite a splitting headache, reality was returning to the way she remembered it for most her life. There were medics all around her. “What happened?” she asked.

“There was a gas leak, hun. You passed out. We found you writhing on the floor muttering some phrase over and over, we couldn’t make it out, though” Dawson informed her.

“I’ll be true to me?” Leticia asked.

“Yeah, that sounds about right” Dawson said, “I guess it doesn’t matter that the auto tuner is fixed, let’s call it a day. You need some rest. We were really worried about you”

“Let’s call it a career. I don’t ever want to use an auto tuner again. I want to go back to making real music” Leticia said.

“Yeah, yeah hun. Let´s get you home so you can take a load off and get some rest” Dawson replied.

Almost one year to the day, Leticia received a champagne gift basket from the record company. She ripped the card off and her eyes welled up as she read:

“Congrats, girl for rocking the charts! We can’t stop bopping our heads to “I’ll Be True to Me”. It’s your catchiest tune, yet! With our trending data, we are confident it will stay at number 1 for another month. You’re so dope! LOL”

Leticia openly wept. She knew she was not being true to herself.

Where is she?

“Where is she?” he muttered to himself, out of breath, running, more like stumbling, through the dark woods with a shovel in his hands. His head lamp was the only light leading his way. This was making it difficult for him to cover a lot of ground without falling or running into trees. His temples were pounding and he was a slightly light headed due to the physical exertion that his body was not used to. “I have to find her” was the only thought echoing through his head with so much force that it escaped through his mouth in moans and pants.

The toe of his boot slipped perfectly under a thick root that came out of the soil just enough, for a boot to slide under, before going back into the soil. He didn’t even know what happened. He didn’t feel Earth pull him towards her with neck breaking speed, nor did he feel the sharp rock smash his forehead open. To him, everything just simply and instantaneously went dark. He couldn’t even taste the blood flowing into his open mouth.

All of a sudden he was at a party. A party that was way too fancy for his income or upbringing. He had a cup of wine in his hand that came from a bottle that cost more than a car payment. Across from him was a woman. The most beautiful creature to have ever vibrated in the universe where he resides. But of course, he could never even talk to such a thing. She dwelled on a plane that was far and above the meager plane of “average” where he dwelled. The thing he hated most about himself was that he was average. He almost would rather be lousy than average. At least lousy has an excuse. Average just is.

But alas, she made eye contact. She managed a polite smile. He didn’t even realize it but he was staring at her for a period of time that well surpassed polite etiquette. He tried to smile back but it felt awkward, crooked even. As if he only had command of half of his mouth. This made her smile even more. She even covered her mouth politely to cover what might be a laugh. She looked intrigued. She started walking towards him.

He started to panic. He had no idea what he would say to this woman. Instead of thinking of things to say to her, he started thinking of things he should mask. Things about himself that he was sure would turn such a fine being off. He would start with his shoes. A grown man should not be at such a function with such poor shoes. He started to muster up a self deprecating comment about them.

As she drew close he felt a vibration in his pants pocket. Now she was face to face with him. Her lips moved and she offered a hand but he heard nothing. He was paralyzed from saying anything. He could not even bring his hand up to meet hers. All he felt was the damned vibrating sensation from his upper thigh region. After a few beats, the paralysis broke but instead of shaking the young lady`s hand he reached for the vibrating sensation.

All of a sudden, he tasted blood in his mouth. He found the source of the vibration. He also noticed that he was lying on the ground. He was all dirty. He brought the source of the vibrating sensation to his face. He touched it. A voice came through “Honey, where are you?” the voice asked.

“I am in the woods behind the house. I was looking for you” he said.

“Well come home. Dinner`s ready” the voice said.