Tag Archives: Religion and Spirituality

Heavy Question, Simple Mind

23 Nov

thinker

“Energy drinks! We need to get some energy drinks!” Brad said excitedly.

Jeff paused for a moment soaking in the irony of such and energetic person making such a claim. “You´re too damn hyper as it is, man. Let´s just get a few beers and get out of here”

I want vodka and energy drink. We can get the generic brand. It´s cheap. That with the plastic squeeze bottle of Popov will be cheaper than a twelve pack and get us much more wasted”

Jeff had to admit, he had a point and neither of them had a lot of money on them nor had many prospects for changing that situation.

“Instead of getting drunk tonight, maybe we should do us somethin that´ll make us a little money” Jeff said.

The two looked at each other and started to crack up in the middle of the supermarket.

“Let´s get the damn booze and get the hell out of here” Brad said. “I don´t want to get to the party too late, all the slutty chicks will be with someone already”

Jeff silently agreed and steered them towards the liquor section.

A few moments later the transaction was made and they were on the road mixing a strong communal drink in a discarded McDonald´s cup that Jeff found under his seat.

After taking a deep sip, making a twisted face of horror from the burning sensation in this throat and extending the cup to his good friend since childhood, he pondered aloud “You ever wonder what this is all about? Like why we are here? I´m sure it ain´t to drink cheap vodka and try to make out with girls who are probably worse people than we are”

“Don´t think about it one bit” Brad said honestly.

“Never?” Jeff asked.

“Never. Don´t cross my mind. I think we´s just here to be here. Asking why? Ain´t no point in that” Brad added.

“Ain´t no point in drinking cheap vodka and hooking up with skanky girls neither, now is there?” Jeff said. He took another long deep sip. This time there was no burning. The first sip had already anesthetized  him.

“I guess not” Brad said, getting slightly irritated.

“Fuck it. Let´s put on some music” Jeff offered, noticing the irritation in Brad´s voice.

“That´s more like it! Crank it up!” Brad said, all anger blowing out the window along with the first few puffs of smoke from his freshly lit cigarette.

The party was exceptionally good. Although there weren´t the most attractive women in the world, there were plenty of them and they most certainly weren´t the kind that use good judgment when making decisions.

Brad started sweet talking a woman who could be described as a human sausage for she tried to squeeze much more body than she should have into a younger, thinner woman´s clothes. They started kissing on the couch and Brad suggested they find a place with more privacy. She obliged and they headed upstairs.

They found themselves on the smallest bed in the house. It was the host´s four year old daughter´s room. The question Jeff proposed kept echoing in Brad´s head. What was the point of all this?

As things progressed, she asked if Brad had a condom. Of course he didn´t and she said she didn´t mind. She couldn´t get pregnant anyway. She mentioned something about a botched surgery involving a severe case of HPV.

As the woman started to undo Brad´s pants it was painfully obvious that Brad´s manhood was not as into this fine woman as much as Brad´s cheap vodka soaked brain was.

“What´s the matter hun? Drink too much?” she asked.

Brad was aloof. What was the goddamn point of all this? Jeff ruined his night. He apologized, put the rest of his clothes back on and just left the party. He didn´t even tell Jeff he was leaving.

Three months later Brad was at an AA meeting receiving a chip symbolizing 90 days of not drinking. He just shared how frustrated he was by his day at his work training program but that he was grateful that he was able to resist the urge to go to the liquor store and continue on his new path. He still hadn´t talked to Jeff since that night he proposed that heavy question. Brad was no closer to having an answer either but he felt that maybe, just maybe if he lowered his head and pushed through life, a hint would come his way.

 

Overboard

19 Nov

sea night

 

The trip was one year in the making. It was not even paid off. There were two more installments to go. That was all forgotten at the present moment. While walking around the bow of the ship there was a great explosion that threw Mark, Rachel and Laura, their three year old daughter, off the deck they were on and onto a lower deck that was not for cruise passengers but for maintenance personnel only. Mark looked around frantically for anything that could float. He knew that normal evacuation protocol would not apply to him as there was a growing fire between him and the deck where staff was trying to get more passengers onto life boats. More explosions went off. More fires raged. People were plunging into the sea in flames.

Mark found two round life saver floats with about two meters of rope attached to them. He tied the ropes together and instructed his estranged girl friend of ten years to jump over board.

“What about Laura?” she cried.

“I´ll jump with her. Go!” he commanded.

She usually didn´t heed a word he said but in this instance, she jumped. From the deck to the sea was about two and a half meters. In normal circumstances Rachel would have been afraid to take such a plunge but given these circumstances her survival instincts kicked in and she just went for it. Mark threw the life saver down to her and she immediately grabbed it. Laura was screaming uncontrollably and Mark made a promise to her that everything would be ok and made the jump. Though he was not sure what the outcome would be, he meant his promise.

Mark was first surprised by how cold the water was. The weather had been so hot to this point. When he came up for air he held Laura over his head. He was an excellent swimmer. He was one of the top players on his water polo team in high school and never lost the love he had for the water. While treading water with his baby over his head he spotted Rachel. He made his way to the other life saver tethered to the one Rachel was clinging onto to with all her might.

Mark put Laura into the life saver. She was no longer crying. She thought they were playing now. “Let´s get away from the ship! We can risk getting hit by debris if it keeps exploding” Mark said.

Rachel was impressed. Mark was never one to take charge of anything. Not even the bank account. It was one of the things that annoyed her about him. And the fact that she, on occasion, would let him know that she did not think he was a real man was one of the things that most annoyed him about her. She saw this man taking charge of the situation and could not help, despite the dire situation, but to feel a spark of attraction to Mark. A spark from the fire that was long extinguished made a faint temporary flash in a dark corner of her heart.

With a lot of work, they made their way about 300 meters from the ship. It was far enough for the ship to look smaller in the distant horizon. There were emergency flares going off and there were explosions and they were both happening with enough frequency to the point that they were indistinguishable from one another. The ship started to sink. Slowly at first, then more rapidly. In a few hours, which to the trio, seemed like an eternity, the ship was completely gone. It was sucked in by the black eternity that surrounded them. Blackness was their reality. Liquid black that they were suspended on the surface of that went to infinity below their feet. In the vertical horizon 360 degrees around them the blackness went until the end of time. Looking up was the most magnificent thing that any of them has ever behold in their very brief time on this finite planet.

A treasure chest of diamonds that would have made any king throughout history dispatch an army to seize, yet was unattainable by man. The blackness dripped from them. In the blackness, the water was like crude oil.

There was no speaking among them. They all knew what the other was thinking which was exactly what they were thinking. They were going to die here. What was supposed to be a respite from the dreary day to day doldrums of a life they were stuck in was going to kill them. Mark even chuckled at the thought that this was probably the ultimate escape. Vacations are just that, right? An escape from life, he thought. If your life was great, you would not need to spend a lot of money to make believe for a week you lived a different way. But now he would not have to go back to a life that he pretended was not his, just to get through the day.

These thoughts were clouded by fear. When Mark thought about the leagues of water underneath him and how this was the universe of a completely different ecosystem which he had no idea about, fear overwhelmed every emotion. Laura was sleeping as they were able to position her in a way where she was barely in the water. Rachel was in a state of shock. Mark envied this state. He was fully aware. His senses were keen and the fear was so strong it hurt. He started to feel creatures, not even of natural science, but sea monsters and demons, swimming towards them. Little did he know there was nothing in the surrounding few kilometer radius around them but that did not stop his mind from creating monsters. Every once in a while he would jerk his legs up as he felt something grab his ankles.

This lasted for hours. All of a sudden, as if God himself appeared in front of him, the first rays of the sun peaked over the eastern horizon. He started to scream. “DAY! DAY! We’re gonna live!”

Rachel came to enough to ask “What makes you so sure?”

“We made it through the night. The sea told me that if we kept it together through the night we´d make it”

This provoked many questions for Rachel but she decided to let it go. She had not the strength nor the wherewithal to propose such questions.

In what felt like a much longer time than truly transpired the sun finally rose above the horizon. The black turned to blue. From death to life. Mark felt revitalized. He was now able to see a few of the life boats in the distance. How could he get their attention he thought. Then he realized. He was wearing his expensive watch which he only wore on special occasions and vacations. Because there were few special occasions, it really was reserved only for vacations.

He waited for the sun to rise a little more and he started to try to reflect its light off the watch´s crystal. It worked but the beam was not reaching the life boats. He gathered the energy from the deep blue sea he was floating in to slowly swim towards the boats, every once in a while trying to shine the light from the sun off his swatch to get the boats attention. He noticed that the light was making its way to the side of the boat! This gave him hope.

Than as if it were an illusion, one of the boats looked as if it turned towards them and started coming closer. He shined the reflection frantically. It was coming towards them! They would be saved after all. As if all the fear he felt the night before turned into hope he too started towards the boats with a renewed fervor.

Before long the boat was close enough that he heard the voices of the passengers. He was far from a religious man but he screamed louder than he ever screamed before “Hallelujah!”

As he helped hoist Laura up into the arms of the rescuers, then Rachel, then himself he thought to himself “The next forever starts now.”

 

Day Trippin

7 Nov

psch cat

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a normal day for Sphynx, a black tabby house cat; a day that consisted of laying around and occasionally licking herself. During one vigorous paw licking session, a movement caught her eye. “That´s strange” she thought. All the people had left for the day. She had the house to herself. Again,a blur streaked across the floor. Oh damn, she thought. Another mouse. The people are going to expect her to do something about this. Oh how she hated being bothered by such things as mice.

She noticed that the mouse was coming and going under a poorly installed piece of baseboard at one particular spot. She decided to wait out the mouse there. At least she could get her quota of relaxing in as she waited. She waited and waited. She even fell asleep while on sentry. She was in a deep slumber when she was gently awoken with taps on her nose.

She slowly opened her eyes and was shocked to find it was the mouse, tap, tap, tapping.

“I´m sorry to bother you ma’am but I cannot seem to find a water source in this house” the mouse said.

“You´ve got to be kidding me” Sphynx thought. “What?” was the only thing that Sphynx was able to mutter.

“Well, I´ve found food in the western part of the house but I have yet to find water” the mouse said.

“Surely you are not asking this because you plan on staying long term. As the cat of the house I cannot allow that!” Sphynx said.

“You see, winter is setting in and the food at the last house I was staying at got tainted. I would eat it and hallucinate something crazy. The same food killed the rest of my family but I would eat it and see things and hear things. Beautiful things, sometimes awful things. It was no way to live!”

“Well I´m sorry but you cannot stay here. Either you leave peacefully or I´ll have to take care of you” Sphynx said, making air quotes during the last part.

“Can´t you just let me wait out the winter? I promise I´ll leave” the mouse pleaded.

Sphynx thought it over. He felt bad for the mouse. He had lost his family and all and furthermore, he dreaded the idea of actually having to do something.

“I´ll make a deal, you can stay but if the people see you, you either have to leave or I´ll be forced to take care of you” Sphynx said with more air quotes around, take care of you.

“Deal”.

The winter passed and the mouse proved to be great company. He was very intelligent and well spoken. He could tell a story like none other. But what Sphynx wanted to hear most was about the mouse´s psychedelic trips. The mouse relayed stories of how time and space melted and the lessons of love and connection he experienced. Sphynx grew more and more curious about the trips and how they could help him with his existential questions.

Spring came and one morning the mouse came to Sphynx. “A deal is a deal my friend. Spring is here. I guess I´ll be moving on.”

“Listen, I like you here. If you can continue to stay out of the eye of the people, for me, you can stay” Sphynx said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but could you do me a favor? I want to be taken to the center of the universe as well! Can you go back to the other house and bring me back some of that food?” Sphynx asked.

“Sure I could, but it could be dangerous. Everybody else who ate it died!” the mouse said, truly concerned for his friend.

“That´s the risk I am willing to take to become enlightened” Sphynx said.

The day came. The mouse procured a decent amount of the magical food. It was a green, hard little rectangle the size of a matchbox and it smelled a little like peanut butter.

“How much did you eat?” Sphynx asked the mouse.

“Oh, just a little. We only nibbled on it” the mouse answered.

“I am bigger than you so I should take at least double. Actually I am many times your size, I´ll start with three times as much as you ate” Sphynx said.

“I don´t think that´s a good idea!” the mouse said.

“It´s ok. Take some with me. I don´t want to trip alone. You can guide me considering you have done this before” Sphynx said.

“Ok” said the mouse as they consumed their allotted dose of the magic food.

The mouse started to see the geometric patterns that he had grown accustomed to. Everything turned into right angles. He started to giggle. He had even forgot about his friend Sphynx. He was riding high on his journey when his thoughts went to his friend. He looked over. Sphynx was lying on his side. Must have passed out, he thought. Good for him.

When the mouse came to he went over to his friend who was in the same position as during the peak of his trip. He gently rapped his nose. Nothing. A little foam had formed at the corners of Sphinx’s mouth. The mouse grew desperate. Oh no! What had he done. He had killed his best friend in the whole world.

All of a sudden the mouse heard a shriek. “EEK, A MOUSE!” and his world went black.

With mascara tears dripping down her face and a broom in her hand, Sally could not believe that a mouse had killed her cat.

 

 

Other Side of the Door

2 Nov

floating door

Open your mind, step out into reality

There is so much that your eyes cannot see

The world is yours

On the other side of the door

Bent landscapes, crooked faces are all that you see

Fog from the past does not let it be all it can be

You could have it all

But you choose to fall

Plastic Jesus, more voodoo

The primordial eye in your forehead can see right through you

Wipe the tears from your eyes

You are the one that you despise

But it does not have to be

Pain and misery

Breathe in life and you will see

That you´re free to be free

On The Outside Looking In (Pt. 4) Final Episode

24 Jul

Link to part 1: http://goo.gl/xig689

Link to part 2: http://goo.gl/aLWd5f

Link to part 3: http://goo.gl/tU4H8F

A full moon is seen behind the minaret of Mohamed Ali mosque, Cairo

 

As night fell and the two men sat waiting to be called. The driver´s legs were cramped and he could not find a comfortable position to sit. Makmood had no legs and was perfectly comfortable lying on a stone bench.

A single guard entered the courtyard and the driver poked Makmood until he woke.

“The sheik would like to see the two men who saved his life at once” the guard softly said.

“Yes, sir” Makmood said enthusiastically.

“Yes, sir” the driver said with little emotion.

The two men made their way to where the sheik was recuperating. He was propped up on silk pillows. A thin silk sheet was pulled up to mid torso exposing his powerful upper body. He did not look like a man who earlier that day was close to death.

The two men waited at the door waiting for the sheik to invite them in. He waved them in.

“Good evening gentlemen” the sheik said.

With heads bowed and their stares fixed upon the floor, in unison they repeated, “Good evening”

“You may feel at ease, gentlemen. No formalities during this encounter” The sheik said.

“As you wish” said the driver without lifting his head or glance.

Makmood, waist high to the driver, looked the sheik in the eyes, scooted towards him and offered both hands. A guard stood at attention but the sheik waved him off.

Makmood took the right hand of the sheik into his and said “It it a great honor to have ridden upon the same cart as you”

“Surely it was only an honor after you had found out who I was” the sheik said.

“No, sir, it is a privilege of God to be put in situations where one can be of service to their fellow man. The more dire need of your service, the greater the honor. I was blessed today”

The three stayed in silence for a moment. A tear rolled down the sheik´s eye. “Guard, please leave us alone”

“But, sir…..” the guard protested.

The sheik shot a glance back at the guard that was more piercing than the sword he had taken in the thigh during battle. “Yes sir” he acquiesced.

As the door shut the demeanor of the sheik changed. His warmth evaporated. His expression almost mean.

“You two will have to leave the territory immediately. You cannot even go home to you holes in the mountain. You will have an escort to the limits of the province, about two days travel away” the sheik said.

“Whatever are you talking about?” Makmood asked. The driver was paralyzed with fear.

“You are lucky. Everybody else involved will not breathe another breath after sun rise today” the sheik said, looking out the window at the full moon.

“Why?” Makmood asked with little signs of emotion.

“You found me and exposed my shame. I had drunk poison and was trying to make my way to the caves. I wanted to die in a cave. I miscalculated and must have passed out on the road. How far was I from the caves?” he asked.

“Not so far” Makmood said. “May I be so bold as to ask why you would do such a thing?”

“Yes” the sheik said and sat in silence before offering his answer. “Animals, when they can, often go into the woods to die. I, wanted to go into the home of the animals to die. No offense” he meant that. He only realized what he said could be construed as offense after the last word had left his mouth.

“Non taken” Makmood said. The driver, still paralyzed.

“As a boy I watched the fires burn in the holes in the mountains from the palace. I would invent stories in my head about what was happening at that moment. As an adolescent, I even wrote some of these stories down. It was the only time I didn´t feel bad” he suddenly stopped talking and looked away, though there was a feeling in the air that there was much more to be said. He looked back just to say “You must leave immediately. I have arranged your escort. Do not say one word until you leave this building if you wish to take another breath outside of it” and with that he looked away once more.

 

On The Outside Looking In (Pt. 2)

22 Jul

ox cart

 

Link to Part 1: goo.gl/xig689

 

The naked man had not moved, save the jostlings of the cart over the rough terrain. It would be difficult to tell that he were alive if it weren´t for sporadic labored breaths. Makmood had taken a sheet off of a basket of apricots to cover the man so he would not suffer any more burns from the sun than he already had.

The cart dustily rolled its way into town and made its way to the first of a series of military checkpoints. The driver bowed his head to the soldiers as he slowed to cart to a stop.

“Good morning gentlemen” the driver said.

Makmood, without taking his glance off of his new friend offered a hand in the air and a “Hello”.

Four soldiers flanked the cart, as per protocol. “What do you have in the cart?” the tallest of the soldiers asked.

“My usual, apricots and nuts for the market. And a beggar!” he said with a chuckle as he amused himself.

“And who is that?” the tall soldier said with a horrified look on his face.

“Who?” the driver asked, puzzled by the question. He had forgot about their earlier heroics.

“Is that man dead? Uncover his face at once, beggar!” The soldier ordered Makmood.

As Makmood pulled back the sheet there was a loud gasp from all four of the soldiers.

“You two are under arrest!” the tall soldier declared.

“For what?” the driver asked with a cold feeling in his stomach. His mind was scanning for reasons for this declaration. He had paid duties on the apricots. The nuts were from a new vendor. Could they be contraband? Makmood had a cool calm to him. It´s hard to rile a man who has nothing to lose.

One of the soldiers, dumbfounded, with a single tear rolling down his eye gasped “Sheik Masoud, what have they done to you?”

Makmood realized what was going on and piped up “Gentlemen, we found him on the road many miles back. We saved his life! He was unconscious in the sand. He would have baked in the sun. We just gave him a lift. In fact, we had no idea who he was. It was our honor to help this man, be him a sheik or be him a lowly beggar such as myself”

The tall soldier, who appeared to be the leader of the squad, seemed to buy Makmood´s story, at least momentarily. But there was protocol to follow.

“Beggar, I would like to believe you but there are rules to follow. We will have to take you to the magistrate to see if your story checks out and to record all of these happenings” the soldier said.

“Will there be lunch?” Makmood asked.

“If everything checks out, sure” the soldier said.

“Great” Makmood said.

“No! Not great!” said the driver of the cart. “I´ll lose a day at the market! My family will go hungry!”

“Easy, man, you have apricots and nuts. They surely will not spoil. You´ll have tomorrow” the soldier said.

The driver shuffled, dejected, towards the magistrate building with his cart in tow. Makmood rode upon the cart elated knowing where at least one of his meals was coming from.

 

Link to Part 1: https://ryanimpink.wordpress.com/2014/07/21/on-the-outside-looking-in-pt-1/

The Older Woman

4 Feb

nothing mom

There she lay, glistening in a sensual sizzle. The straps of her bikini undone, dangling from the sides of her folding chair tempting him in a way that brought physical pain to his loins.

He watched her from the kitchen window. She was getting her afternoon sun on her well worked body. His teenage erection was completely unhidden in his knee length basketball shorts, sans underwear. The feeling of the silky fabric rubbing on him every time he moved his hips made it difficult for him to stand still. He looked like a novice hula dancer swaying his hips so erratically.

Her body was perfect and not just for a woman of her age, though she wore her 50 years fabulously, but for a woman of any age. A rare mix of great genetics and vanity, she took very good care of herself. She had no idea that she had an audience at the moment.

His vision was going in and out of blurry spells, the fire so stoked in his loins. He couldn´t take it. He needed release. He promised himself he wouldn´t do this anymore. He had asked his pastor if this behavior was all right and as he expected, was told no. He prayed to make these feelings go away. But they didn´t. It did not help that prayer time was so close to same time where he was left alone with his thoughts in the dark. With no one around. No one watching.

He asked God to forgive him one more time as he reached for the cooking oil. He splashed a little in his palm. It was enough. In fact, it was unnecessary as there was enough Cowper’s fluid accumulated that it looked as though he had wet himself a little.

He reached into his shorts and almost instantly a wave of delicious shame pulsated through his body. He felt amazing and awful as his eyes fluttered and became difficult to keep open. He even uttered an audible ‘uh’. His knees went weak and then he felt panic. She was tying her bikini up. She was coming inside.

The orgasm hadn´t even fully finished and she was steps away from the back door. He didn´t know what to do so he and his handful of shame opened the door to the basement. He didn´t even think about turning on the light. He just stumbled down the stairs into the musty darkness.

“What do you want for lunch” called the voice of the once object of his deepest desire.

A shaky voice came from the darkness of the basement. “Nothing, Mom.”

Christian Chicks

1 Dec

sexy-inked-girls-tattoos-tatts-chicquero-praying-bride

 

“Why are you always going after Christian girls, Tony?” Nick asked.

“Well, I figure, they already beleive in stupid shit, so it is easy to convince them to come to bed with me” Tony replied matter of factly, as if he has been rehearsing this answer for some time.

“I never thought of it that way. But don’t they get all moral on you when things start to get hot and heavy?” Nick asked.

“Not really. You see, most of these Christian chicks are pretty messed up. If they didn’t have Jesus in thier life, they’d probably be drunks or drug users. So in that way, they have that thrill seeking gene. They get all Jesus upped at church on the weekend the same way some chicks get all decked out and sloppy at a club. During the week, the club chick don’t think about the club and the Christian girl don’t think about Jesus until Sunday. They are pretty similar in that way. But the Christians chicks are clean.”

“Wow, you got it all figured out, don’t you Tony” Nick said with admiration in his voice.

“Of course not. But it works for me” Tony said.

“I just have one more question. Don’t you feel bad that you are condemning them to a future of eternity in hell?” Nick asked.

With that question, Tony let out a roaring laugh that was so contagious that Nick couldn’t help but join him.

 

How much difference does it make?

2 Sep

How much difference does it make?

You can work out your body for years building muscles that protrude from other muscles only to have them atrophy to nothing in a few quick months of a little sloth.

You can spend years creating a fortune only to see it lost in moments due to a lapse in judgment or worse, something outside your realm of control.

You can spend years of your life and soul creating a family only to have them wiped out in the blink of an eye at the hand of a wild eyed killer or an inebriated driver.

You build relationships, they go away. You have ideas, you  forget them. You cook food, it gets eaten.

Even the tallest grandest mountains erode at the hand of wind, water and time.

Nothing is permanent not even the stain on your favorite shirt.

You’re born, you die.

I ask again, how much difference does it make?

Melting

18 Aug

Everybody knows what happens at the end of the life cycle of an ice cube. It does not die. It just retreats closer to the ground. It becomes not a different thing; it is indeed the same thing just in a different state.

If we can concur on the above, then it is true that the same is true for a cat. At the end of its life cycle, its matter retreats to the ground. A different kind of melting occurs. Some things are created, such as foul odors. However, are these odors truly created? Do they not exist the whole time only being released upon the animal’s biological demise?

These are the type of thoughts that helped Brad justify his odd hobby. He thought to himself, he is not just taking life, he is putting it back into the ground from which it came. He was like a social vulture but instead of waiting for his clean up job to die before commencing, he would just go ahead and clean up. He would take messes, deep into the woods, retire them to freshly dug holes, spread lime, cover up said mess and go home to have supper.

Society does not seem to agree with Brad so he must sit in a cage for the rest of his natural life and many more for his sentence far exceeds the years of the average human life.