Barry and Melvin, two painted turtles, were sunning themselves on a rock on a warm early spring afternoon.
“It was a brutal winter this year, eh, Mel?” Barry asked.
“The worst” he slowly answered.
“Didn’t think I’d make it through” Barry said.
“Even though you say that every year, I gotta say, I kinda felt that way too” Melvin said.
“My shell got so cold it hurt” Barry said.
“But now we’re here, living the life” Melvin answered.
“Nothing better, belly full of fish, beautiful scenery…” he stopped short when the sun was shadowed by an unidentified flying object.
“Oh no, Barry! I think it’s an eagle. Don’t move! He might not see us” Melvin said.
“Not see us? It’s a goddamn eagle, Mel!” Barry cried.
“He’s swooping! Get in your shell!” Mel screamed.
As they heard the approaching whistle, the result of air rushing through the eagle’s feathers, they imagined they survived the brutal winter for naught. Barry imagined the things he could have been doing that very moment instead of wasting time on that rock. Melvin wished he could kiss his mate and offspring just one more time.
They heard the click of the eagle’s talons on the very rock they were on. They both held their breath and waited to be carried away by the shell to be dropped on jagged rocks to be smashed open and made a meal.
“Hey guys” the eagle said. “Some winter, eh?”
Both turtles peeked their heads out of their shells. Barry answered first with a slight stammer, “Ahhh, a real doozy”
“The worst” Melvin sheepishly chimed in.
“Hey, I’m not here to eat you guys” the Eagle said with a cackling laugh, “there’s barely anyone awake in these parts yet and I saw you two here. I just wanted to talk to someone. Anyone.”
Both immediately popped the rest of their way out of their shells. Melvin spoke up first. “Of course not!”
Barry followed up with “Wouldn’t even think of it”
By Ryan 