Home Is For The Birds

Pilot and Skye had a beautiful home, high up in the trunk of a dead tree. A wood pecker hollowed out an already rotting part in search of a meal. He found what he was looking for and abandoned the site when the food ran out. It was  a perfect home for a young couple of swallows.

One day Pilot went out to look for some food. He gave Skye a kiss on the beak and went his way. He flew almost a full mile until he found a promising location. He looked around for a perch to assess the area. He saw a branch with a wide angle view of the ground below.

Already on the branch was a beautiful female swallow.  Pilot thought he should maybe find another branch but she waved him over with a wink.

“Hello” she said.

“Hello” Pilot said.

“Name´s Libi” she said.

“I´m Pilot” he said, blushing.

“That´s a strong name. Are you a strong bird?” Libi asked.

“Well, not really, I guess I can be” he answered. Libi stayed quite. She knew that silence can drive a male mad.

Pilot´s mind raced, searching for something to say, to break the deafening silence. All he could come up was, “Do you live close?”

“Close to what?” Libi giggled. Pilot blushed again. Libi leaned over and kissed him on the beak. An explosion of emotions rushed over Pilot. The thought that rose to the top was “What am I doing?”

Swallows are hard wired for monogamy. They take a mate for life. This went against thousands of years of evolution.

Pilot pulled away. “I cannot do this! I already have a female”

Libi said with a devilish look, “You do and you don´t now”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the moment you return home, your “ex” will smell my pheromones on you, so you don´t. But, you have me now” she said.

Pilot wanted to protest but he couldn´t. She was right. Dejected, Pilot asked “Where do you live?”

“I don´t have a home, dear” she answered. “You have to make one for us”

“Oh great…” Pilot thought.

Over the course of a week Pilot made a home just as good as the one he left.  Two days after, Libi kicked him out.

“I thought we were going to be together forever” Pilot said.

“That´s so old fashioned. That instinct must have passed over me” Libi said.

“What am I going to do?” Pilot cried.

“I don´t know. Do the same as the others. Go crawling back to your old home” Libi said.

“Others?” Pilot asked.

“Yeah, the others that I tricked into building me a house. I´m just going to flip it for some quick cash” Libi said.

Pilot wanted revenge but realized this would just get more of her pheromones on him. In fact, he was so busy working, he hadn´t had contact with Libi for days. He flew off to see if he could get his life back.

Attack of the Killer Imagination!

“I wish he could talk to me” Ben told his mother. He was referring to his favorite teddy bear Chase.

“If you use your imagination, Ben, he can” his mother answered, barely paying attention to the boy.

Ben´s eyes lit up with the possibilities. His mother´s words echoed in his head, “If you use your imagination…..”

A few moments passed and Ben snapped out of his trance. He grabbed his teddy bear off the floor and told his mother he was going to his room.

Once in his room, Ben sat the teddy bear at the head of the bed as if the bear needed to relax. He went into his closet. He took a shoe lace from one of his sneakers. He proceeded to tie it around the bears neck.

“You´re gonna talk and you´re gonna talk now” Ben said.

The bear just looked at him with his plastic eyes reflecting Ben´s angry face.

“You´re gonna be a hero, huh?” and with that Ben tightened the shoe lace.

Still, the teddy bear gave no satisfaction to Ben. Ben wound up an elbow and struck it across the bear´s face. “Talk!” he said. He struck the bear a few more times.

“Okay, okay!” the bear finally said. “What do you want to know?”

“I knew you weren´t so tough!” Ben said, triumphantly. “I want to know what Mom got me for Christmas and I want to know now!”

“How the fuck should I know?” the bear answered.

“Hey, watch your mouth!” Ben said.

“It´s your imagination who is doing the talking, pal” the bear answered defiantly.

“Yeah, you right. But back to the subject. What did Mom get me for Christmas?” Ben asked again.

“I don´t know!” Either I am with you or I am in your room. It´s not like I can just get up and walk around the house you know!” the bear said.

Ben thought quickly. If imagining gets the bear to talk, then maybe imagining can get him to move. “You´re gonna figure it out for me one way or another” Ben said.

“Fuck you” the bear said.

“I said stop that!” Ben complained.

“Again, you are in charge here….Hello?!” the bear said in a snarky tone.

“True. But anyway, tonight, when my mom is asleep, I´m gonna want you to go into her room and look in her closet. I need to know what I´m getting” Ben said.

“That´s a stupid fucking idea. You know your mom is a light sleeper” the bear said.

Ben was furious at the bear´s foul mouth. He let it go this time. He simply said, “You´ll make it work. I´ll use my imagination”

Later that night when the house was quite and still, the alarm Ben set on his cell phone went off. He looked over at Chase the Bear´s chair but he was not there. With his legs still on the mattress he leaned off the side of the bed and had a look under. Nothing. He was sure he had put Chase in his chair before nodding off to sleep.

The he felt as if a small animal had jumped on the other side of the bed. He jumped up. There were no pets in the house since his beloved cat died three months earlier. Then he felt a weight on his chest and something fury forcing its way into his mouth. It was Chase!

“I am so sick and tired of you kid” Chase said as he shoved his arm into Ben´s mouth and covered his nose with the other.

Ben couldn´t make a sound. He felt powerless against the otherwise weightless bear. The more he wanted to struggle the more he could not. Tears were streaming down his eyes.

“This is just your imagination, kid” Chase said. “You´re in control here”

All Ben could do was cry. His head started to feel light. He couldn´t hear much. His desperation was rounding the curve and turning into an eerie calm. Then, he felt a vibration by his side. Then he heard a familiar music start to play. Softly at first, gradually getting louder.

All of a sudden he felt sweet air fill his lungs. He looked around. His face was dry. No tears had fallen. He looked to his side. Chase was sitting there just as he had left him there.

That day Ben decided to think twice before using his imagination.

Happy Birthday!

 

“Did you ever imagine what triggers an orgasm?” Jake asked as he took pulled his face inches away from Ashley`s between kisses.

“I like to believe that they are little explosions ignited by angels” Ashley answered.

“Good answer” he whispered as his mouth went back to hers.

All of a sudden there was a loud “What the fuck” heard in the background and the door flew open with a crash.

“Bill, what are you doing here?” Ashley asked.

“What the fuck are you doing there?” Bill asked right back.

Jake saw that he was giving up at least fifty pounds to Bill, mostly in the form of muscle, panicked and went for the window.

“Oh no you don’t you little shit!” Bill said. He crossed the room with surprising speed and agility for a man of his size. His large, strong hand crashed down on Jake’s bare shoulder pulling him back into the room. “You ain’t going nowhere” he said. With a twist of pleasure in his voice he said  “Your mine”

Jake was trembling. His knees felt weak. He could barely stand on his own. He collapsed into a ball of naked, bony flesh and meticulously messy hair.

Bill stood over him and started undoing his pants. Ashley screamed very unconvincingly “No, don’t do it Bill”

“This here little feller likes to fuck married people, then he’s gonna fuck married people”

Bill took out his lustful rage on Jake for three full minutes until angels detonated his orgasm.

Bill then went rooting through his pants looking for his cigarettes.  When he found them he offered one to Jake and said “No hard feelings there, little feller?” Jake just stared into nothingness. He looked catatonic.

Ashley then said to Bill “Happy Birthday honey! I knew you’d like him. He’s got that spikey hair you like so much”

“Ah, love, you sure do know me” he said as he took a long pull on his cigarette.

Where is she?

“Where is she?” he muttered to himself, out of breath, running, more like stumbling, through the dark woods with a shovel in his hands. His head lamp was the only light leading his way. This was making it difficult for him to cover a lot of ground without falling or running into trees. His temples were pounding and he was a slightly light headed due to the physical exertion that his body was not used to. “I have to find her” was the only thought echoing through his head with so much force that it escaped through his mouth in moans and pants.

The toe of his boot slipped perfectly under a thick root that came out of the soil just enough, for a boot to slide under, before going back into the soil. He didn’t even know what happened. He didn’t feel Earth pull him towards her with neck breaking speed, nor did he feel the sharp rock smash his forehead open. To him, everything just simply and instantaneously went dark. He couldn’t even taste the blood flowing into his open mouth.

All of a sudden he was at a party. A party that was way too fancy for his income or upbringing. He had a cup of wine in his hand that came from a bottle that cost more than a car payment. Across from him was a woman. The most beautiful creature to have ever vibrated in the universe where he resides. But of course, he could never even talk to such a thing. She dwelled on a plane that was far and above the meager plane of “average” where he dwelled. The thing he hated most about himself was that he was average. He almost would rather be lousy than average. At least lousy has an excuse. Average just is.

But alas, she made eye contact. She managed a polite smile. He didn’t even realize it but he was staring at her for a period of time that well surpassed polite etiquette. He tried to smile back but it felt awkward, crooked even. As if he only had command of half of his mouth. This made her smile even more. She even covered her mouth politely to cover what might be a laugh. She looked intrigued. She started walking towards him.

He started to panic. He had no idea what he would say to this woman. Instead of thinking of things to say to her, he started thinking of things he should mask. Things about himself that he was sure would turn such a fine being off. He would start with his shoes. A grown man should not be at such a function with such poor shoes. He started to muster up a self deprecating comment about them.

As she drew close he felt a vibration in his pants pocket. Now she was face to face with him. Her lips moved and she offered a hand but he heard nothing. He was paralyzed from saying anything. He could not even bring his hand up to meet hers. All he felt was the damned vibrating sensation from his upper thigh region. After a few beats, the paralysis broke but instead of shaking the young lady`s hand he reached for the vibrating sensation.

All of a sudden, he tasted blood in his mouth. He found the source of the vibration. He also noticed that he was lying on the ground. He was all dirty. He brought the source of the vibrating sensation to his face. He touched it. A voice came through “Honey, where are you?” the voice asked.

“I am in the woods behind the house. I was looking for you” he said.

“Well come home. Dinner`s ready” the voice said.

An Unfortunate Chain of Events Pt. IV

Francine could not believe what she was hearing. With that question, her world collapsed in on itself. Jim was staring at her with a glazed icy stare. This was not the man she fell in love with in high school behind those eyes. Finally she mustered the energy to ask the question, “Jim, who are you?”

This sent Jim into a rage. “Who am I? Who am I, you ask? I’m the guy who gave up his life to come back to the shit hole because you wanted to! I am the guy who has no friends, no career and no future, because of you! Who am I?…”

“Jim”, she said, “We made the decision together to come back here! You wanted this just as much as me. You told me you wanted kids. We agreed that it would be better to be near family.”

“You made the decision!” Jim was now on his feet, somewhat swaying rhythmically as if small breezes were holding him up from all angles. “I had nothing to do with that decision”. Jim was speaking on mental autopilot because all he could think about was the fact that his child support payments would be based on his new salary and that this would lead to a fairly miserly existent in a city as expensive as New York. He had to make this problem go away.

“Don’t think for a second that I would do anything to harm our baby! There is a life growing inside of me now. You have to decide what you are going to do with your life. But I am going to stay here and raise our baby!” she put a lot of emphasis on the word our.

Jim started for the door and Francine let out a shriek, “Where are you going?”

“Out. I need to think” was all he said. He fumbled with his keys in the driveway and opened the door to the car. Francine followed him.

“Get out of the car and talk to me! Besides, I can smell alcohol on you, you’ll get  arrested for sure!” her hand was in the frame of the door when Jim slammed it shut. Francine screamed, “Open the door! My hand is stuck” Jim did even notice. He put the car in neutral and slowly started coasting down the driveway, unbeknownst to him that Francine was being dragged. She was screaming frantically.

Finally he noticed and jerked the emergency brake and opened the door. Three of Francine’s fingers were bleeding. “Look what you did, you dumb bitch!” Jim said.

Francine was screaming in pain and crying hysterically. A few neighbors had poked their heads out to see what the commotion was.

Jim, with his head on a swivel surveyed them and yelled “Fuck you all. Go back to your stupid lives you assholes. There is nothing to see here.”

Francine started to feel feint from all of the pain and slowly sat down on the grass. At that moment, Jim slammed the door and was off.

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An Unfortunate Chain of Events Pt. III

Francine raced home to tell Jim the good news. Jim was already celebrating his good news by opening an expensive bottle that was given to him as a going away present when he left the firm in New York. His usual afternoon buzz was about to be taken up a notch.

Jim kept going over in his head the details of his new life in New York and how great it was going to be again. The Thursday nights going out to the clubs and hitting on NYU students much younger than himself were racing through his head. And this time he would be single. No one to check in to and make up stories to about his whereabouts. He was already convinced that he was going without Francine.

Francine was thinking of baby names if it were a girl because if it were a boy, she´ll let Jim name him. That´s how her family has named babies for two generations. She was already imaging how the baby’s room would look. Of course, they would have to remodel the room that Jim calls an office but uses as his internet porn viewing room.

Francine pulled into the driveway and Jim started to prepare himself about what he was going to say. How would he break this to her? Francine opened the door and with a huge smile threw her arms around Jim. “Honey, I have great news,” she said.

“I have news, too,” he said.

“Of course you can go first honey, but I am sure mine is bigger!” she said with such a smile that Jim was now very curious as to learn what she had to say.

“Go ahead, Fran, you go first” he said.

“We’re pregnant, love!” tears rolled down her face as these words came from her mouth.

“What do you mean WE?!” he said with a twisted look on his face.

A puzzled look came upon Francine’s face. Jim took notice and realized how awful he just sounded but his thoughts were spinning so far out of control he could not rectify the situation.

Francine stammered a little, “I am pregnant. Dr. Spengler just told me over the phone”.

Jim couldn´t help himself. The booze had lubed his tongue and the words just slipped out “Weren´t you taking the pill for Christ sake? And, hell, are you sure it´s even mine?” he was getting louder “It´s been months since we last fucked.”

Francine was shocked. She didn´t know what to say or think. She was certain he would be just as happy as she would. Her tears of joy turned to tears of sadness. Now it was her thoughts that were spinning.

Jim realized how harsh he had been and apologized. He told her that he had been stressed out about a few things. Then Francine asked, “What about your news? Didn´t you have something to tell me?”

Jim wasn’t even listening. All he was doing was calculating child support payments based on his new salary and if he would have enough at the end of the week to go out.

With almost no life in his eyes, he looked at Francine and asked, “Have you thought about an abortion?”

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An Unfortunate Chain of Events Pt. II

Jim answered the phone with his usual afternoon buzz making his thoughts a little fuzzy.

“Hello”, Jim said.

“Jim, you son of a bitch!” said the voice.

“Who is this?” Jim asked, a little annoyed.

“It´s Frank. From the firm. Don’t tell me you forgot about us already! It´s only been a few months.”

“Hell no Frank! I just wasn´t expecting you. I thought it was my damn in-laws. They call all day long”, Jim said with half a smirk. It was all he could muster because his mouth muscles atrophied from months of a lack of smiling.

“Sounds like you are loving domesticated small town life”, Frank said.

“You fucking kidding me? I hate this shit”, Jim always swore more when he was drinking. He swore a lot.

“Then I have great news for you. Stan wants you back. He didn´t really specify why he wants you so bad but he does. I think it´s because it has been so hard to find decent consistent people with half a brain. Plus, Stan always liked you.” Frank said.

“That sounds great,” Jim said, with a million things flashing through his head. “What´s the offer?”, he asked.

“What you were earning plus twenty percent, some more benefits and a larger profit share”, Frank said. “Plus, all of your moving expenses paid to come back and a company rent controlled apartment with a lease for three years”.

“Oh my god! I´m in!” Jim said with wide eyes.

“You think you can convince Francine?” Frank asked.

“I don´t care if can or not. I´m going with or without her”, Jim said.

“Looks like little Jimmy has finally grown a pair! Good to hear. Look, my secretary will call you to make flight arrangements. You´ll need to come to New York ASAP to sign a few things before we get the ball rolling”, Frank said, then he added, “Hey, take it easy on Francine, will ya? She´s a good girl. Let her down easy. If you can´t convince her to go, I mean. You know, she was close to my wife and she´s convinced Francine won´t go for it. Her dream is the picket fence in small town USA with the kids and all. She hated NY.”

“Don´t worry about that. We´ve been growing apart since coming here anyway. Might even be a relief for her”, Jim said.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

Francine was driving home from the supermarket when her cell phone rang. “Hello”, she said.

“Francine?” the voice asked.

“Yes, this is she”, she said.

“Francine, this is Charlotte from Dr. Spengle’s office. The results of your blood work are in. He would like you to come in to discuss a few things”, the secretary said.

“Is everything ok?” Francine asked with worry in her voice.

“Yes, but I am not at liberty to divulge information over the phone but the doctor does need to speak to you in person” the secretary said.

“If you can´t tell me, can Dr. Spengle?” Francine asked.

“Actually, he is free. I´ll transfer you over”, the secretary said.

“Thanks”, Francine said.

“Francine?”, Dr. Spengle said.

“Yes?” Francine said with her heart racing.

“Francine, you’re pregnant”, the doctor said.

After a long pause Dr. Spengle heard from a distance as if the telephone had fallen to the floor “Oh my God! Thank you lord! I am so happy!”

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The Number

As they lay in their post coitus embrace, Bruno sensed that something was awry with Alexandra.

“Is everything all right?” he asked.

“Yeah” she said without conviction.

“No, really, tell me. What´s wrong?” he insisted.

“You really wanna know?” she asked.

“Yeah, you can tell me anything” he said.

“Ok, well me and the girls were talking the other day about our boyfriends. The subject of the number came up” she said

“The number?” he asked.

“Yeah, the number. How many people you’ve been with, the number” she said almost irritated by his ignorance of the matter.

“That´s what you girls talk about when you get together” he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” she said with a twisted face of anger and disgust. “It´s serious stuff.”

“Easy babe” he said while running his finger down her arm affectionately, trying to get her to calm down. With this she jerked away created a space of at least a foot between their naked bodies.

“Don’t touch me. I gotta know. You are the only guy that I have ever cared about. I need to know. What´s your number. I need to know how many girls the first guy I ever fell in love with slept with!”

Bruno’s head was spinning. Though he felt highly attracted to Alexandra and enjoyed her company, it’s only been three months that they have been seeing each other. The L word had not even entered his head.

“Slow down, babe. Where is all of this coming from?” he asked.

Alexandra was now crying. “I never loved anybody so I never cared before. It bothers me so much to know that someone I love fucked a bunch of dirty whores”

Bruno was already making plans in his head to delete Alexandra from his phone and block her from his Facebook. But first, he needed to think his way out of this very moment.

“What if I told you, that you were the only one” he trailed off and came back with “that I cared about? Huh?” he thought a little humor would lighten the mood.

“TELL ME! How many whores have you fucked, Bruno?” she screamed.

Bruno stammered, “I really don´t know, I haven’t kept a real count.”

“Oh my god! You’ve fucked so many girls you don’t even know how many there were?” she said.

“No, it’s not like that, I just don’t know. I’d have to think about it” he said.

“Get to thinking” she said.

Bruno thought of a number that he thought she would except and calm down. “I think five”.

“It can’t be only five! If it were only five you would not have to think. You would have known five without thinking!” she said.

“No, five. I just never stopped to think before, that’s all” he said.

This seemed to calm her a little. “Only five? Really?”

Bruno saw that it was working. “Really” he was frantically thinking of how he could extricate himself from her bedroom without bringing on another wave of rage.

The Alexandra said “Do you love me?”

This caught Bruno completely by surprise. He saw that she wasn’t stable and he didn’t want to raise her ire so he lied “Of course. These past months have been some of the happiest of my life”

“Do want to be with me forever?” she asked.

“Of course I do” Bruno said hoping that she couldn’t sense how far from the truth this statement was.

“Then you know what we have to do to be together?” she asked.

“No” he replied.

“We have to kill those dirty whores who you fucked” she said as she stared at the ceiling, mascara staining the sides of her face making permanent black tears.

Bruno’s mind went blank.

How much difference does it make?

How much difference does it make?

You can work out your body for years building muscles that protrude from other muscles only to have them atrophy to nothing in a few quick months of a little sloth.

You can spend years creating a fortune only to see it lost in moments due to a lapse in judgment or worse, something outside your realm of control.

You can spend years of your life and soul creating a family only to have them wiped out in the blink of an eye at the hand of a wild eyed killer or an inebriated driver.

You build relationships, they go away. You have ideas, you  forget them. You cook food, it gets eaten.

Even the tallest grandest mountains erode at the hand of wind, water and time.

Nothing is permanent not even the stain on your favorite shirt.

You’re born, you die.

I ask again, how much difference does it make?

Love in a Hopeless Place

Betty’s life had been so bad up to this point that her death sentence was almost a reprieve from life. Abuse was the only human contact she had known. Rape was the only intimacy that she had experienced. Once a victim gets marked early, other victimizers sense this with some sort of sick radar and pounce. Healthy people tend to shy away from such people. This isolates a victim and sets them up to be a victim for life.

Her marriage to Jimbo was what she thought was a chance to escape a life of abuse. He was so good to her, in the beginning. She didn´t mind the sneers that they received as this tall handsome white boy was hand in hand with a poor, yet beautiful, black girl. The comments from the women were far worse than those from the men. Women already do not deal with competition so well. Now they have to deal with another race of women, women with more curvaceous bodies than themselves.

Things worsened when they moved from Plano, Texas to Lewisville, Texas. Plano was a liberal metropolitan city in comparison to Lewisville. In Plano, they only had to deal with sneers and comments. In Lewisville, they had to deal with vandalism to their home. Jimbo almost immediately lost the factory job that brought them there. Neither wanted to go back to Plano. Jimbo’s family rejected him for his relationship with Betty and Betty didn’t really have a family to go back to. Jimbo started drinking. Jimbo changed. Betty was stuck.

Jimbo and Betty didn´t have much of a sex life before they were married. Betty had no idea how to be intimate with a man. The only men she knew sexually were her own father and his brothers whom he let have a turn with her when they got together to play cards and drink. Actually, playing cards was a ruse to drink. Drinking was the principle activity. After Betty’s mother left them, in Betty’s infancy, that is just about all he did. Jimbo was raised a fire and brimstone evangelical Christian and was so afraid of hell and the devil that he would burn his penis with a sewing needle that he held over a lit match when he felt the urge to masturbate. Even though he was now married to Betty, he was still afraid of his carnal urges. The drink erased those fears but not the shame.

When Jimbo drank, he felt the need for female companionship but had no idea about how to go about getting it in a polite way. These shameful feelings disgusted him. Betty was no better. Before Jimbo, she had never even been hugged lovingly. She didn´t know the first thing about how to coerce some loving touch from her husband. What ended up happening was that Jimbo would work himself up into a rage and start to hit Betty. Betty knew this role well and went along with it. Jimbo would beat Betty until he felt his erection pulsating through his entire body. All he could feel was a burning shortness in breath and the throbbing of his member. Then, when Betty was as limp as a cadaver entering into emotional shock, Jimbo would enter her and in a few short strokes would finish.

*Note from the author: He shall continue the story if anybody wishes. Just leave a comment that you wish to read on.