The Devastating Effects of Wi-Fi on Bee Populations

Due to Wi-Fi being a relatively new technology, long term effects on biological systems are rather unknown. Recently, data has come to light on a few medium and short term effects. With the rise of Wi-Fi use and the sharp decline of bee populations, many unproven hypotheses have been made correlating the two phenomena. A study out of New Haven, Connecticut has finally brought some hard evidence to the forefront.

Scientists studied over 75 different hive colonies. At first, the general hypothesis was that Wi-Fi impacted the electro-magnetic systems that the bees use to communicate, their health in general or their reproduction. The latter proved to be true, but the mechanism as to how was shocking.

The queen bee emits a pheromone that make her sexually enticing  to specific drone bees whose job is to copulate with the queen to perpetuate the hive. Once the pheromone is perceived by the drone, he is not satisfied until he has copulated with the queen bee. When a strong Wi-Fi signal is introduced to this dynamic, the message gets scrambled and the drone is not satisfied until he copulates with another male drone. This leads to the devastation of the colony´s population. Reproduction, in essence, ceases.

Furthermore, upon losing her sexual grip over her drones, the queen loses social control as well.  With the introduction of Wi-Fi, colonies were observed to move towards chaos as the intricate social order breaks down. Complete breakdowns leading to hive destruction have been observed to occur in as little as eight months after a Wi-Fi signal has been introduced.

One other peculiar observation was the propensity of the drones to intoxicate themselves more often upon contact with Wi-Fi signals. The bee´s preferred mechanism for intoxication is the consumption of certain marigold pollens mixed with the fermented sap of certain coniferous trees. The increase in consumption of intoxicants was observed to increase a minimum of 20 fold and a maximum of 50 fold when Wi-Fi signals were introduced.

In conclusion, Wi-Fi is an essential tool for human society. It does, though, come with some high costs. For the time being, nature is absorbing the most of these costs. When enough of the bee population is eradicated, humans will pick up the costs. Bees are an equally essential tool for human society.

The Astonishing Discovery of the Eta Wolf

It is a well-known and documented fact that wolves live in a strict and well enforced hierarchy. What has come to light only recently is how this hierarchy is decided and upon this revelation a discovery was made, a new rank in the hierarchy previously unobserved. The Eta wolf lives a tumultuous life and ends up finishing its life at the lowest rung of the social ladder. A new study has given us insight never even imagined until now.

A group of biologists went deep into the Adirondack Mountains to discover the answers to many questions. How does the Alpha reach the top? How does the Delta acquire its caregiving nature? How do Alphas choose the Betas and give them positions of such trust. They were shocked when they observed a strange group which they dubbed Etas. The Eta experience a downward spiral in social standing that is brutal and demonstrates Nature´s sometimes obscene cruelty. One could interpret the data to show that some beasts are born to suffer.

Let´s start with the birth and subsequent social ascent of the Eta. The Eta apparently rises to a social level beyond that of the Alpha. A major distinction is that the Eta, although socially higher at this point is still controlled by the Alpha. An Eta can be born from every social rank. Even Etas can produce more Etas, though this phenomenon is rare.

What appears to separate an Eta from the rest of the pack is either an extreme talent, such as howling more beautifully than other wolves or having extreme physical attributes. Some Etas climb the social pyramid on sheer need for attention and an ability to obtain said attention. Etas tend to have sad stories from the very beginning of life. Sometimes they were weened too early from the teat by an uncaring mother or not even given milk at all. The latter are generally raised by foster wolves. There is apparently a lot of abuse in the pasts of many Eta wolves.

Etas experience a meteoric rise in social standing. They are given access other wolves could only dream of. They are exempt from any actual communal work. In fact, it is thought they are a net burden on the pack when they are on the social rise or at the apex of their social standing. They are given the choice entrails of the hunt, which they generally had no participation in.

The life of the Eta strikes tragedy after having spent some time at the apex of the social structure. Other wolves start looking for behaviors that can bring the Eta down. This is not difficult given the large amount of abuse the Eta endures during the formative years. Etas generally suffer from a plethora of psychological disorders.

Once the Eta starts displaying erratic behavior, the other wolves viciously attack both physically and emotionally. It has been observed that even the Iota wolf, generally the lowest ranking wolf in the pack, get their licks in when the Eta has been taken down significantly. It is even believed that the Iotas experience a brief feeling of belonging to a higher social rank when administering attacks both physically and emotionally on an Eta. The mere besmirching of an Eta’s character behind its back has been observed to offer a similar phenomenon to a lesser extent.

Etas get to live a wave like life of the best and the worst that pack life has to offer. It appears they are created to be elevated only to be knocked down. What astonished researchers the most was that even with the knowledge that the climb to the top will be met with a great fall, there are always Etas born, generation after generation, that are willing to take that risk.