Living on a Prayer (Part 5) Final Episode

Rick came creeping up on the scene in desert camo. The townsfolk were still gathered around the burrow both curious about the interaction of the two groups of dogs under their feet and yet worried about the sick ones. Some were on their knees praying.

“They ain’t talking to the real God. The real God wants ‘em dead” Rick said as he spat on the ground.

*          *          *           *         *          *

“Hey Timmy, I´m going to nose around outside and see if I can find anything out” Clapper said.

“Those people are still out there, they might hurt you” he answered.

“No, they brought us here. From what I gather, they’re on your side, but I am still not 100% sure”

*          *           *           *           *          *

Clapper snuck out a rear hole. He immediately smelled traces of the poison in the air. He couldn´t pinpoint the source of the smell but it was surely not coming from the mass of the townsfolk gathered around the burrow. He picked up a strong scent and followed it to some shrubs around 30 yards from where they were. He found a scraggly man hiding out in the bushes in a prone position. The smell was surely coming from him.

Clapper snuck up from behind the man and with ferocious speed, bit off a chunk of the subject’s calf. “OUCH!” Rick cried from the bushes.

“Rick? What the hell you doing over there?” Judge yelled. “You ain’t got nuttin to do with these sick critters now, do you?”

Rick was wild eyed, “It ain’t right! Prairie dogs gots to pray! You shouldn’t have to teach ‘em. These here ain’t of God.”

Clapper was confused but he started putting the pieces together.

“These here Texas dogs are Godly. They pray. Ours don’t. Ours are of the devil”

Clapper finally figured out why he and his cohorts were brought to this dog town.

“Sheriff, put him in cuffs, for animal cruelty” Judge ordered and the sheriff obliged.

“Man law can’t get my soul!” Rick yelled as he was put in the Sheriff’s SUV and taken away.

“What a night, Judge!” Mary Ann said as her hand brushed his. She was surprised when he gently took hold of it.

“Yeah, sure was a little crazy. How about we make it a little crazier? I would like to ask you out to dinner with me some time, if you´d like…” he asked.

“My word, I’ve been waiting a long time to hear those words! YES!” she answered. “Look! There are some prairie dogs coming out of the borrow, they look fine!”

*          *          *           *            *          *

“You were brought here to teach us to pray, yet you guys don´t even do it?” Sammy asked, laughing to himself.  

“It’s what I gathered; and that crazy guy in the bushes tried to kill you guys for not doing so” Clapper answered, “I recommend you give them what they want. We can teach you how to meditate, we all do it. It’s wonderful. Life changing even. You could assume the prayer position and appease the townsfolk and yet benefit from this time spent”

“Ah-hem” Timmy said.

“Just keep praying Timmy” Sammy said, “You aren’t hurting or annoying anyone and you like it” he finished, giving Timmy a high five.

“Clapper, are you guys gonna stay with us?” Julie asked.

“I guess that’s up to the townsfolk. We are quite a ways  away from Texas” he answered, “But, wherever we end up, I believe it’s how it’s supposed to be”

 

The end.

Living on a Prayer (Part 4)

Living on a Prayer (Part 1)        Living on a Prayer (Part 2)      Living on a Prayer (Part 3)

The night arrived for the grand reintroduction. The townsfolk were excited. Saul put on his only suit for the occasion. They arrived with candles poking through paper plates in their hands. They were horrified by what they found.

There were prairie dogs everywhere writhing on the ground. The Townsfolk didn’t know what to think. Mary Ann piped up “Maybe we are too late. Satan has already taken hold here”

“I don’t know but the Texas dogs are going nuts in these crates. They are clawing to get out!” Judge said.

“Release them” Saul said, “Trust me”

“Ok” Judge said, flipping open the latches.

*          *          *          *          *          *

The native dogs rushed into the burrow out of pure fear. Once inside the leader, Clapper, called out “Anybody down here? These are clearly prairie dog burrows and there are plenty of signs they are currently occupied”

After taking a look around, the native dogs discovered why they were not properly greeted. There were numerous prairie dogs strewn about in various states of consciousness.

Clapper took in the scene and knew exactly what to do. “Find me some desert grass, red clay from a dried creek bed and as much cactus meat and milk as you can find! Stat!”

“Poisoned?” Jumper asked.

“Poisoned” Clapper answered, “Everything is going to be fine” he shouted to the suffering prairie dogs as he then put his front paws together and closed his eyes.

*          *          *            *          *          *

As the night wore on, native dogs came and went with the ingredients requested by Clapper. It was working. Not a single prairie dog’s life was lost. Even the most far gone dogs were only experiencing mild to strong discomfort, but were completely out of the danger zone.

“This was an intentional poisoning” Clapper said.

“How could you tell?” Timmy asked.

“Let´s just say, native dogs have been in struggle with humans for centuries. We have seen it all. We pass down the knowledge. I can see how this got you by surprise. You’ve never faced anything like this before”

“I bet your prayer helped” Timmy side wide eyed and with a big smile.

“Prayer?” he paused to think “What?”

“I saw you praying, after you gave the orders to gather ingredients to make the medicine. You know, hands together, eyes closed….talking to the Lord”

“Oh…Hahaha, you thought I was praying? That’s just how I think. We all do that! No prairie dog has actually prayed in earnest for generations. One or another gets the idea in their head to pray, but it usually passes, like a fad”

“Oh” Timmy said. He sat in silent thought for a little before asking, “Why are you guys here?”

“Maybe we were brought to save you. Beyond that, I have no idea”

“Well, I´m glad you came regardless”

“You know what? Considering we were able to help the way we did, I am glad too”

(To be continued…..)

 

 

 

Living on a Prayer (Part 3)

Living on a Prayer (Part 1)

Living on a Prayer (Part 2)

Judge sent Saul to procure native prairie dogs from Texas. He was given the instructions to come back with at least twenty and to make sure he saw them praying before picking them. A week later he came back with 50 Texas prairies dogs. In the meantime, the community was following Mary Ann´s recommendation, holding nightly prayer vigils around the prairie dog town.

*           *          *          *          *          *

Sammy turned to Julie “What is this all about?”

“I have no idea but I kind of like the songs” she answered.

“I love it!” Timmy said “Who knows, maybe you two will change your minds after all” he trailed off and started singing along to one of the hymns. He had memorized all of them after the third day.

“I have an uneasy feeling about this. The humans up to now have pretty much left us alone. The last time they paid a lot of attention to us, they killed us off, you know” Sammy said.

*           *          *          *          *          *

The townsfolk decided to introduce the native prairie dogs during one of the nightly vigils. They were going to release them on two separate nights, 25 each night. Rick hadn´t been seen for days and the whole town was a little worried about that.

*          *          *          *         *           *

“I don´t feel well” Sammy said.

“Me neither” Julie said.

“I told you guys not to eat that stuff we found! How many others ate it?” Timmy asked.

“Almost everybody” Julie answered.

Moans were echoing through the burrows. The sounds of vomiting and lamenting were deafening. Timmy immediately started praying.

*         *          *          *          *          *

 

Rick was in his basement in front of a monitor. He had hidden game cameras all around the burrows. He was rejoicing in the prairie dogs’ agony.

“Serves them damn heathen prairie dogs right!” he said to himself. “God wanted em dead and I shall be the hand of the Lord” he paused, “That sounds perty good” he added, cracking another beer and cackling over his own wit.

  (To be continued…)

Living on a Prayer (Part 4)

Flying High!

Gale worked very hard to get where she was. She logged many miles before she took the point position of the V. Gale was a goose and led the flock while flying in their migrating V pattern.

Gale studied Spanish for years to become fluent so she could lead Mexican migrations and she was studying French so she could pick up some French Canadian migrations, as well. She even worked with a speech therapist to get rid of her thick Boston accent because she thought it would give her a slight edge in her career. She thought she´d be taken more seriously.

Despite her successes, she couldn’t help but feel slightly incomplete. She thought it may be the lack of younglings in her life. She laid some eggs but it didn’t move the needle for her. Furthermore, although ashamed to admit it out loud, she was even a little relieved when neither egg hatched.

She wanted to make a mark. She wanted to leave a legacy. She studied all the great geese navigators. She idolized them. Her favorite was DuMont, who was credited with inventing the flying V formation. She poured over tomes about his life and the science of the V formation.

One night her big idea came. She was going to revolutionize the migration pattern. She stayed up countless nights going over her math. She came to the conclusion that a slight U would be superior to a V. She was excited. She was going to test her theory this fall during the migration to Chihuahua, Mexico. “Vámanos!!!” was all she could think.

One unusually warm fall day, she laid out her plan in the middle of a verdant field. She showed her math. She even had a PowerPoint presentation, just in case, but didn´t need to show it. The co-pointers were weary of the plan, but they trusted Gale. She was on track to become not just the first trilingual goose of her flock, but of their entire region. In the end, they put their whole trust in her.

The moment of departure came. Everyone was in their respective position. Take off went smoothly. Gale´s anxiety decreased with every mile behind her tail feathers. The confidence in her plan grew. A smile started to form in the corners of her beak. All of a sudden, something caught her eye that wiped that smile away.

“A duck blind” she thought to herself. “Poachers at this time of year??? Just my luck!” Then she heard the first boom from a shotgun.

“Don´t panic!” she screamed to her flock.

“Gonna be hard not to!” answered one of her co-pointers.

“Just follow my lead” Gale answered. She started to make ever so slight zig zag motions and her flock followed in perfect unison. Now the shots were thundering with such frequency it sounded like the finale of a Fourth of July fireworks display. Hearts were pounding. Adrenaline was flowing.

Despite their utter fear, not one goose was even close to a BB being sprayed from the booming guns. Gale´s brave decision was working. Meanwhile down on the ground, there was a group of very frustrated hunters. Curses were flying more than goose shot.

“What the…”

“Why they in a darn U?”

“Can´t hit any of ‘em in that there U! Why ain´t they in a blasted V???”

“When they in a V, it´s like shooting fish in a barrel. Can´t hit nutten in this here U!”

“What´s gotten into them there crazy geese? They done lost they minds flying in a U like that there!”

The shots and cursing eventually grew from distant noise to silence. Gale finally breathed a sigh of relief. They eventually made their way to Mexico. They were even slightly ahead of time and in high spirits. The U was a smashing success. Gale considered it a success solely based on their early arrival. She had no idea it was the reason the hunters were unable to hit any geese and that it saved the flock’s life.

The Peculiar Attraction of the Peacock

The peacock is a peculiar animal in that the male is the vainer of the two sexes. In our own species, the human species, the female usually devotes more time and attention to their outer appearance. This is the domain of the male in the world of the peacock.

More odd is that the male peacock has been observed to put very little importance in the physical appearance of their female mates. They seem to care a little about height and beak size and that does not even seem to be a deal breaker.  If a female successfully plays into a male´s vanity, she can be quite short and have a relatively small beak, yet will have her target male fawn all over her.  Further research must be done but it is hypothesized that the ability to stroke the male´s ego may be the single greatest asset the female has to win over a mate.

Not much homosexuality has been observed among the peacock musters studied, but when it has, a dilemma seems to arise. Both males seek the affirmation of their aesthetic but have little to no experience in offering such affirmation so a vicious cycle has been observed to form. Homosexual peacocks go around looking for another male who will placate their need for veneration, yet do not know how to placate this need in their mate. Given this dynamic, very little homosexual copulation has been observed in the musters studied even though a clearly small subset of the population is homosexual.

There is one more curious phenomenon worth mentioning. The females observed did not demonstrate any concern for the aesthetic of the males. They have been observed to acquire the knowledge of the male´s penchant for this certain type of seduction from older females who have in turn had acquired it from even older ones. In other words, the females don´t even care what the males look like but have learned it is important to the males and have come up with strategies to conquer them using this knowledge to their advantage.