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Bear Fight!

29 Jul

bears fighting

Barry was the toughest bear in the forest. He was 10-0 in professional bear fights and 8-0 as an amateur. He was the current bear fighting champion. The up and comer, Burt, was young and hungry and ready to take Barry´s belt. They weren´t very fond of each other outside of the ring so this looked as though it was going to be a barn burner.

On the day of the big fight, Barry came down with a virus. He had trouble getting out of bed. His manager, a skunk named Sammy, was ready to call off the fight. Barry refused. He could not lose face to the young punk, Burt. Besides, it would ruin his legacy.

Barry and Burt squared off in the middle of the ring. The referee went over the rules of the fight. Barry noticed a twinge of fear in Burt´s eyes. Burt recognized the exhaustion in Barry´s eyes and his confidence grew a bit. The referee sent them to their respective corners.

Barry knew he could not take many body shots. His digestive system was wrecked by the virus. Burt wanted to avoid Barry´s heavy front paws. He knew one touch and he could go to sleep. He desperately wanted to take the fight to the ground.

As they were circling each other a slight boom echoed and scared the birds out of the trees in the distance. Suddenly Burt felt a piercing sting in his chest. Breathing became next to impossible. All he could feel was a burning, his vision was no longer clear. He started to fade. Consciousness failed him.

Approximately 300 yards a hunter lowered his rifle. He looked to his partner. “Got dat Bear!”

As all the animals, with the exception of Burt, ran away from the championship fight Barry cried “I AM STILL CHAMPION!”

 

 

A Duck Tale

9 Feb

mallard

 

A handsome adolescent Mallard duck was swimming in his pond lamenting the trash floating around him that was washed in during the last rain storm. He was surrounded by empty water bottles, empty trail mix packages and cigarette butts. These were all left behind by self proclaimed “nature lovers” who entered these woods to escape their own trash filled urban streets.

A small yellow duck caught his eye. The duckling´s movements were not very natural and it seemed to be swimming on its side. The Mallard swam over to see if he could offer assistance to the possibly injured young duckling.

“Are you all right?” The Mallard asked. No response was given. The Mallard dipped his head under the water and lifted up as to right the injured duckling.

“There you go, now you are upright my little friend” the satisfied Mallard said to his new young friend. There was no response from the duckling.

“You´re welcome” the Mallard said, a little peeved by the duckling’s lack of manners. The young duckling just bobbed up and down. The Mallard shrugged and swam away.

The Mallard went on with his day not giving much attention to the young duckling. As the day started to retire the Mallard noticed that the young duckling was very close to the shore bobbing up and down and still without any sign of a mother duck.

The Mallard swam back over to see if he could be of any help to the duckling. “Where’s your mommy?” he asked. No response. The Mallard was getting impatient. “I just want to help!” he said. No response. “Let me at least help you onto the shore. It´s going to get dark soon” No response.

With that the Mallard started to nudge the yellow duckling to even more shallow waters. He didn’t notice that sprinkled into the rocks of the shallow water was a lot of broken glass. As he pushed the yellow duckling towards the shallow rocks the yellow duckling let out a pssssssst noise. The Mallard noticed a bunch of air bubbles rise from the belly of his young friend. The Mallard went into a panic. He was frustrated with the duckling but surely he didn´t want to do any harm to him.

The yellow duckling started to flatten out and sink to the bottom of the shallow water. The Mallard was very upset. He had never caused bodily harm to anything save a minnow. He started to cry out for help.

In the meanwhile on the shore, two young boys laughed hysterically as they watched a Mallard duck quacking his beak off while nudging a flat rubber ducky.

 

The dog and the skunk

6 Aug

dog and skunk

 

A dog was walking through a forest one day and he came upon a skunk. They both froze. They stared at each other waiting for the other to make the first move. Unfortunately for the dog, the skunk make the first move. It bit a large chunk of flesh from the dog’s face.

The dog quickly retreated and the skunk slowly plodded away. The dog was in agonizing pain. He could not see out of his right eye and no air was passing through his blood-caked nose. As he wandered whimperinly he fell into a pond. He felt relieved as the water washed away the dried blood and he was able to breathe through his nose again.

All of a sudden, he heard a loud noise. He jumped out of the pond to find that half of the forest was on fire. The crackling fire rapidly encroached upon him. He ran. He ran so fast that he had little control of his direction. He was still blind in one eye and was fumbling; trying to make do with the eye that worked. Then he heard a horrible scream.

An ungodly sound was coming from the edge of the fire. The dog looked back and saw a small figure writhing under a fallen branch. The dog went back to offer assistance. It was the skunk. The animal’s fur was singed by the unrelenting flames.

The dog nudged the scalding branch off the skunk with his injured face. He whimpered in pain. Then, he grabbed the skunk by the scruff of the neck and ran with the animal in his mouth. The dog ran and ran as the skunk passed in and out of consciousness.

When the dog got to a point where he sensed that the fire was no longer an immediate threat, he laid down and gently placed the wounded skunk on a pile of soft leaves. Hours passed as the dog waited alongside the skunk waiting patiently for it to recover. Finally, the skunk came to.

When the skunk regained full consciousness, he sensed the presence of the dog. It froze. The dog froze. Then all of a sudden, the skunk lunged at the dog, took a chunk out of the other side of the dog’s face and darted into the woods. Now the dog was blind in both eyes.