Stand Up Tragedian

13 Dec



A person who evokes emotions through comedy is a comedian. They use their words to paint images that, at least in their intent, are to make you laugh. It is a strange profession and a very difficult one as well. Carl was never funny but he was born to perform. Although he could not make people laugh, he a way of making people cry. He would not insult them. He would tell tragic tales. Usually true. Always about himself. He was a stand up tragedian.

He would warm the crowd up with tales of the irritation in his anus from the rubbing of giant hemorrhoids on the way to the club.  Then he would go into material about his cat, who was dying from feline leukemia. Then his closer was a story of how he tried visiting his grandmother at the hospital, minutes before her surgery. He was barred from the hospital parking lot and parked a fair distance away. By the time he had made it to her room she was already in surgery. The next day he got a call. She was dead. The crowd is usually totally in tears at this point. Most people say “It’s the way he tells the stories” usually followed by, “You have to see to it”.

Carl made a good living doing this. He even got to have relations with the occasional groupie. They were usually neurotic, drugged up to the gills, plus sized, middle aged women. But he didn’t care. Having sex with them gave him more material. There was one thing that always surprised the comedians in every town he traveled. He was a much more well adjusted human being than them.

9 Responses to “Stand Up Tragedian”

  1. Bruce Goodman December 13, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

    Great story – and way out of the box! Loved it.

    • Ryan December 13, 2013 at 5:05 pm #

      Thanks sir! I think I could get more miles out of the premise.

  2. mikesteeden December 13, 2013 at 5:21 pm #

    Great short story. I wrote a ton of comedy (arguably) when my Dad was dying of dementia – done nothing with it for fear of offending people who don’t get my kind of humour. I wasn’t taking the piss or anything like that – just the things he was saying over a period of time when dying. So yes, a ‘tragedian’ is the comic. It is thus the case that this post is most thought provoking and that Sir is a good thing!

    • Ryan December 13, 2013 at 5:36 pm #

      Thank you. I believe the line between comedy and tragedy is “cunt hair” thin. Don’t be afraid to put that stuff out there. You’ll find your audience!!!! (Present company included).

  3. Eric Tonningsen December 13, 2013 at 10:15 pm #

    Have you ever done either, Ryan? Preference? You’re writing suggests a leaning but curiosity begs the clarifying question.

    • Ryan December 13, 2013 at 11:39 pm #

      If you are asking if I have ever done stand up, no. I never worked up the courage. If I ever move back to the States, I will go for it. Living in the Third World creates an inexplicable courage.

  4. TomBoy December 22, 2013 at 12:19 pm #

    I think those who tell funny stories do speak from experience. I liked this post.

    • Ryan December 26, 2013 at 10:50 pm #

      Thank you for reading. I am glad you liked it. I think what you said explains why the funniest people are a little older, having more life experience.

      • TomBoy December 27, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

        You better laugh as you age… Especially since you tend not to heal and wreck your body more often 😉

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