Christian Chicks

1 Dec



“Why are you always going after Christian girls, Tony?” Nick asked.

“Well, I figure, they already beleive in stupid shit, so it is easy to convince them to come to bed with me” Tony replied matter of factly, as if he has been rehearsing this answer for some time.

“I never thought of it that way. But don’t they get all moral on you when things start to get hot and heavy?” Nick asked.

“Not really. You see, most of these Christian chicks are pretty messed up. If they didn’t have Jesus in thier life, they’d probably be drunks or drug users. So in that way, they have that thrill seeking gene. They get all Jesus upped at church on the weekend the same way some chicks get all decked out and sloppy at a club. During the week, the club chick don’t think about the club and the Christian girl don’t think about Jesus until Sunday. They are pretty similar in that way. But the Christians chicks are clean.”

“Wow, you got it all figured out, don’t you Tony” Nick said with admiration in his voice.

“Of course not. But it works for me” Tony said.

“I just have one more question. Don’t you feel bad that you are condemning them to a future of eternity in hell?” Nick asked.

With that question, Tony let out a roaring laugh that was so contagious that Nick couldn’t help but join him.


4 Responses to “Christian Chicks”

  1. mikesteeden December 1, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

    ‘But the Christian chicks are so clean’ did it for me! Back in the day that’s not – as an atheist since the beginning of time quite how I remember it! Great stuff

    • Ryan December 1, 2013 at 11:21 pm #

      Hahaha, thanks! They may not actually be any cleaner but I am sure in their own heads they believe they are.

  2. Sean Smithson February 4, 2014 at 1:27 pm #

    I like this analogy a lot.

    • Ryan February 4, 2014 at 1:46 pm #

      What analogy? This was a conversation I had with with my cousin verbatim! …just kidding. Thank you for reading and I am glad you liked the piece.

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